UNCLE and ants and piranhas, oh my!
by MLaw
Summary: Illya and Napoleon face a multitude of dangers in the rescue of a young girl. Originally posted for PicFic Tuesday on section7mfu, Live Journal. pre-saga


"I am frightened Señor Illya," a young dark-haired girl whispered as she huddled low in the dugout, sitting between the blond Russian and his American partner as they rowed down the Río Paraná river. She was the daughter of the Brazilian President who'd been kidnapped and held for ransom.

After some fancy maneuvering, Solo and Kuryakin had effected a rescue and were now in the process of eluding members of the organization called the New World Order.

It was a strange name they'd chosen for themselves as their manifesto was one of complete anarchy...at a price of course. In this case it was a substantial sum for the safe return of Maria Cardoso.

Alexander Waverly had his doubts the girl would have been permitted to live, had the ransom been paid, and offered his best agents to retrieve the young girl. So far their escape had been uneventful until now.

In the distance they all heard an ominous buzzing sound, nothing else...no birds, monkeys or the usual sounds of the rain forest. This was a noise rarely heard though, when it was; it meant death, as it's destructive source would cut a through the landscape like a jagged knife, killing and devouring anything in its path.

"Cover your ears little one, we will be out of harms way soon enough," Kuryakin reassured her. He said that being unsure of the truth, though he lied to calm the child. His fatalistic side was sure they were going to die, but part of him would not permit him frighten the girl.

They had to travel along the river, hoping to avoid the carnage, through it was at least twenty miles long and several miles wide, and were at the moment, surrounded by an immense swarm of marabunta….soldier ants. Deadly creatures that would eat anything. Unlike other ants, these army ants did not construct permanent nests; a colony moved almost incessantly over the time it existed leaving a trail of devastation in its wake.

They were larger than average, and resembling wasps more than ants and a swarm could strip the flesh off a man in minutes and this large swarm was on the move.

"Look!" Napoleon, who was paddling in the rear called out, pointing to the shore line." They're on the leaves!"

Hundreds of green leaves snatched from the remaining foliage were floating on the water, each carrying hundreds of the vicious red insects.

"Paddle faster!" Illya yelled, as the current was quickly bringing the leaves closer to their small wooden canoe.

Within minutes, the creatures were crawling up the sides, sending the agents into a panic as they tried splashing them away using their paddles.

Maria shrieked, and Illya turned, seeing some of the insects had crawled onto her arm where she had been holding on for dear life to the side of the boat.

He grabbed her, sweeping the insects off with his hands, trying not to yelp as he was bitten himself. Illya was careful not to rock the boat as another deadly predator was beneath the surface of the water...the omnivorous piranha.

Hunting their prey in schools; there were many myths about piranhas such as how they could dilacerate a human body or a cow in seconds, but it was a myth with which Illya Kuryakin had no wish to test its validity.

Some of the deadly fish leapt into the air; one of them landing near the Russian's bare foot but he ignored it. In less tense moments he would have simply seen it as a potential meal, but right now he did not want himself, the child and Napoleon being on the dinner menu for them.

Once the offending ants were removed from Maria and himself, Illya turned his attention back to rowing. The water ahead of them was getting very rough and he spotted rapids in the distance. No wonder the piranha had jumped into the dugout, it was trying to escape what was coming up, and very fast.

"Row as if the devil were on your tail!" He shouted.

Together he and Napoleon steered the boat clear of the ants and their green rafts, and into the rapids. The current quickly sent the canoe down river, with the undertow of the white water dragging the ants beneath the surface.

Exhausted; the agents stopped rowing. It was quiet, there was no sound or sign of the ants.

"We did it tovarisch," Napoleon coughed, trying to catch his breath.

Illya wiped his sweaty brow with is sleeve, nodding his agreement, looking at the hundreds of bite marks on his hands and forearms.

"Thank you Señor Illya for saving my life," Maria hugged him.

"What am I? Chopped chicken liver?" Napoleon laughed.

"What is that Señor Napoleon?" Maria innocently asked.

"Nothing sweetheart, nothing at all."

She switched her position, giving Solo a hug as well. "Gracias Señor Napoleon."

He smiled, hugging her back." You're welcome Maria."

"Napoleon, less chatting and more rowing," Illya called back."We have a long way to go before we reach civilization. He listened carefully, noting the buzzing of the ants was no longer audible...they'd evaded them. Now was there a new sound, the roar of rushing water.

"Oh it was fine when she was hugging you…" Solo called.

"Absolutely," the Russian snickered."Now I think it best we head to shore, as we are nearing the the Guaíra Falls, and I do not think we want to go down the cascades…

"Nothing like going out of the frying pan into the fire," Napoleon called back.

"Please my friend...the New World Order, killer ants, piranhas, rapids and waterfalls have been more than enough...do not wish anything else on us," Illya moaned.

"You're right tovarisch; I take it back. Let's just look forward to clean clothes, and comfortable beds."

"And food Napoleon, do not forget the food. I hear piranhas make a fine meal," Illya smiled.

"Only you would think of that chum..."


End file.
